24 hours later, and I still don’t want to believe it. If I ignore ESPN, stay off social media, then maybe, just maybe they will all still be alive. The news of Kobe Bryant dying in a plane crash is a nightmare that I want to wake up from. The moment I opened Facebook yesterday and saw RIP Kobe pieces of my childhood shattered. Growing up in LA, you are used to death, hearing news of someone dying just hits different when it’s a common occurrence. But reading Kobe was killed in a helicopter crash goes against all logic. Kobe was unbreakable, this is a man who played with a broken hand, shot left-handed when he dislocated his shoulder, won a championship with a mangled finger. This Kobe could not be dead, not the guy I grew up idolizing.

I was nine years old when Kobe was drafted and 30 when he laced them up for the last time. In a life with wins and losses, Kobe, for more than half my life, was the constant. When my mom told me we were leaving Port Hueneme and moving back to LA, and I would have to leave my friends behind, I was terrified. When I started school at Manhattan Place Elementary, Kobe was the bridge that helped me build a new friend group. Again when I went to Bret Harte instead of Henry Clay, Kobe and ball were the bridge. High School choosing Hawthorne over Washington Prep, Kobe.

This death hit different. Nipsey’s death made me shed a tear, Kobe made me cry. I can’t even put into words how much Kobe has impacted my life. The countless hours in my front yard imitating him, the countless arguments defending him. Kobe was supposed to die of old age, he was supposed to be the Bill Russell of his time. The old guy all the young guns show respect to, call for advice. Now he’s gone at 41!

Kobe’s death hit me like a ton of rocks, but the news of GiGi and the other young lives hit me like an avalanche. I can’t imagine the final moments for those parents looking at their children, those innocent little girls and knowing they will never get the opportunity to reach their full potential. How does one make sense of this? They were going to a basketball game, to play a game they loved and were growing to love more each day. I think about Vanessa, Natalia, Bianka, and Capri, who will grow up in a world not knowing who her father was. The man who inspired billions. I think about Kobe’s parents, and I wonder if they ever settled their differences. I tell people all the time to let go of grudges and forgive the ones you love. Because I would hate for someone, I love to pass away without warning tragically, and we were not on speaking terms. I wrote a blog a while back titled “Let That Shit Go.” Hopefully, Kobe’s untimely death allows millions of people to let some shit go and get back to love.

I’m hurting today, and I imagine I will be hurting for a while. This post probably doesn’t make any sense. There is no rhyme or reason to it. I just had to get my feelings out because I lost a massive piece of my childhood, and I’m not sure how to reconcile that. RIP Kobe Bean Bryant, you will be missed. As I did last night and like I will do many times ago, I pray for Vanessa, Natalia, Bianka, and Capri. I hope they find the strength you displayed throughout your life.