“We don’t even talk anymore, we don’t even know what we argue about.” Babyface might have only been talking about a broken relationship but this line is so relevant to today’s current climate. As an educator, I think what I’m about to rant about (incoherently by the way) is an unpopular opinion and I hope this doesn’t come back to haunt me. Sadly, I have watched the world lose the ability to debate and disagree.  People can no longer state their opinion without being viciously attacked for it. I want to be very clear I’m not talking about out right racist hateful commentary that I will never tolerate or defend. I’m talking about people’s honest opinions or questions that have no intent to harm. Oh no Jeffery it doesn’t matter about intent it’s about its impact. Ok fair enough but I literally watched someone get dragged through a comments section because they had no clue what “Cishet” meant and was accused of being part of the problem and an oppressor because of their privilege ignorance. Seriously? Was that called for? What was the impact of asking about a word you have never heard before?

Well intended people cause harm all the time, it’s called a mistake and do you remember when people were allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes people don’t even get a chance to apologize for a mistake or saying something out of ignorance and when they do they get dragged even more. Today if you slip up you are likely to get your whole profession or the whole twitter verse calling for your job. There is no room for dialogue or learning anymore all we do is argue. And please don’t ever ask anyone to help you understand something because it’s not their job to educate you. Their job is to make you feel like a dumbass and horrible person for not knowing to use gender neutral pronouns when talking to you. As someone who loves the field he works in, Higher Education, it blows my mind that we can’t have healthy dialogues around almost any topic. I’ve read many think pieces and comments from people in my profession who outright refuse to dialogue or take the time to educate someone because it’s not their responsibility. I’m sorry it is my job, I’m an educator (or at least I believe I am). Does it get tiring? Hell yea, I’ve had to take mental breaks and hiatuses from educating people on why their language or vocabulary is inappropriate or potentially harmful to others. I also believe we are stifling the growth of our students because we fear learning and growing from disagreements or other world views. So, we disguise not talking about real issues by claiming we can offend others. Here’s a random example, you know how most kids learn not to play with the stove? They get burned and their parents talk to them about why they got burned and the dangers of playing with the stove. We no longer allow people to get burned and learn from the experience. We shut them down because we don’t like their opinion or it goes against what we personally believe in. It’s crazy how we want people to hear our side while silencing theirs.

I acknowledge I’m different and my tolerance for what people say is higher than most. I don’t automatically assume everything a person says in inherently bad unless they have proven to me that they are. Maybe it’s my love for standup comedy, which is a discipline I believe will be extent in the future. Richard Pryor, who many consider the GOAT would’ve never flourished today even with him being bisexual. Eddie Murphy’s gay jokes in RAW would have him apologizing on twitter and sitting down with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America explaining how he didn’t mean to offend. Growing up in South LA, snapping on people was our way of communicating and bonding. When you’re broke what else is there to do? Everyone could get and did get it. Today when I hear students snapping on each other they are unfortunately told to keep quiet and that its inappropriate to laugh at someone’s else expense unless that person is Orange and lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Not sure where I’m going with this, remember incoherent rant.

Look all I know, we need to a find balance between condemning what someone says and educating. I don’t feel like every conversation is an opportunity to point out someone’s privilege and denying them the right to say or feel how they want because of this privilege. I stated earlier I don’t believe in intentionally harming others with actions and words. That’s completely different I’m here for letting people get what they deserve. But if someone is tossing something up on your timeline for dialogue and debate. Or they use a term that you feel is inappropriate or misplaced. Engage respectfully so everyone can learn and we as a people can evolve and grow.