Every day we make decisions that impact us rather it be for the moment or for a lifetime. Often we dwell on these moments far too long. Why do we choose to dwell on missed opportunities and bad decisions instead of actively engaging in reflection to improve ourselves so it doesn’t happen again? Easy answer, it’s easier than being vulnerable with ourselves. Recently I made a decision that for the moment haunted me day and night for almost a week. I played the should’ve, would’ve, could’ve game but it didn’t help. All it did was make my days long and truly miserable. I finally had to just come to terms with my decision and live with the results. My only option was to figure out how to improve and avoid making the same mistake in the future. I refuse to be held hostage by life and decisions that may or may not be in my control. (I’ll talk about the steps I take to live with results shortly)

We have all been stuck in conversations that sound something like “Only if I did (insert whatever you want here).” I meet with students all day who wish they would’ve studied harder. I have family and friends who are stuck in the I should’ve mindset. No matter family, friend, student or stranger, I give everyone the same advice, “Live with the results.” Alexander Graham Bell has one of the most memorable quotes in history, “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” We are human, we make mistakes, we don’t always make the right decision and that’s fine. It’s what we do after making those decisions is what truly makes us better or might I say successful. In my humble opinion this is what separates happy “successful” people and unhappy “unsuccessful” people. I Used quotations because success means something different for everybody. You define what success is for you not others. (More on this later)

So, how do I go about moving on and living with the results? First, I reflect what led me to my decision in the first place. Why did I make this decision, what was at the root of it? Fear? Self-doubt? Uncertainty? It’s impossible to move on if you don’t know what you are moving on from. By reflecting and truly understanding why I ultimately made that decision begins the process of moving on and living with the results. Secondly, actively set goals that will help you avoid making the same mistake twice. There aren’t too many things that get under my skin, but someone who consistently makes the same mistakes repeatedly drive me crazy. Once I know what I did wrong I try my best put in safe guards that will hopefully save me from repeating a mistake or poor decision. Lastly, focus on my hobbies and what make me happy. My last step is just getting back to my center and that could be playing basketball or just sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing. Missed opportunities eat at us and saps away are energy. Therefore, step 3 is the most important to me. Getting back to being me is the most important because If I can’t be me it affects everyone around me.

Whatever decision haunting you today, reflect on it, learn from it, move on from it and “Live with The Results!”